Please buy us some Monkey Shoulder Whiskey. KTHXBI.
SEKRIT INGREDIENTS
Your Iron Chef America secret ingredient is …. HERE!
Microsoft Isn’t Working For You
MSFT execs vetoed consumer-protection features in IE8 in order to protect the interests of advertisers.
Intuit: Actively Screwing You.
Intuit is lobbying hard to stop governments from making it easy to file taxes, which would undermine (annual! repeated!) demand for their products.
And now, a brick in a washing machine.
You heard me. Stay with it.
Today in “Difficult Puzzles That Are Also Impractical Firearms”
The Intimidator is beautiful. And silly.
This is delightful
In the 70s, [James Williamson][1] played guitar and shared songwriting duties with Iggy and the Stooges, most notably on on the seminal Raw Power record. The band subsequently broke up, despite the success of Raw Power, and Williamson went back to school before, eventually, joining Sony for the bulk of his electrical engineering career.
Last year, Sony was issuing early retirements, and Williamson took one. The Stooges had of course reformed around 2003, but when Williamson couldn’t rejoin them they’d used their original guitarist Ron Asheton — who died suddenly around the same time Williamson retired, and all of a sudden a former Sony VP was back playing punk rock again (Video link, but short and worth it).
Today’s Good News, Bad News Situation
They’re making H. P. Lovecraft‘s “At The Mountains of Madness” into a film.
Good news: Guillermo del Toro is directing, which sounds like a great fit.
Bad news: James Cameron will produce, which I fear will drastically compromise the whole thing into a rote, by the numbers piece of crap on which they nevertheless spend a fortune.
Mo Pix
Two sets. I’ve been remiss:
- a few snaps from New Orleans in May; and
- a few more from Mrs Heathen’s 40th last week, which includes a special bonus visitor towards the end.
I’m posting this at the end of the workday
This entry into 5-Second Films is just the first of many you’ll watch. After all, at only 5 seconds each, you can afford to watch several…
Yes. We went to Gaga.
And it was just as awesome as Rocks Off says it was.
The Stupid! It Burns!
The vaccination rate is low enough in some place to produce whooping cough epidemics.
A statewide whooping cough epidemic has not changed how Danielle Lawson of San Anselmo feels about vaccinating her 5-1/2-month-old daughter.
Lawson has declined almost all of the standard vaccines recommended for infants, including DTaP, which protects against whooping cough.
“I haven’t categorically ruled them out,” she said. “But I just think at this point she’s too young, and her immune system is still developing. Nothing goes into my baby right now, except for breast milk, so I don’t feel comfortable injecting her with strange chemicals.”
[…]
Unfortunately, public health advocates say, the consequences of rejecting vaccination are not strictly personal. Widespread vaccinations not only make disease outbreaks less likely, but they also help protect vulnerable populations like newborns who are too young to get shots.
“Anything that leaves people unimmunized and unprotected, thereby reducing the overall rate of protection in the community, would be a contributing factor when you have an outbreak,” said Dr. Fred Schwartz, Marin County’s public health officer.
Parents who do have their children vaccinated are troubled by others opting out, fearing outbreaks of disease.
“This is the first one to hit us, but how long until we have a chicken pox outbreak, or mumps or polio?” said Sara Sonnet of San Rafael, a mother of two young girls who are both fully immunized. “We take it for granted.”
The article concludes with this winner: “Others remain unconvinced. Lawson now avoids taking her daughter to the pediatrician, taking her to see a chiropractor instead.”
What if you need the pencils to be like, really really sharp?
http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/ has what you’re looking for.
So Made of Awesome
Firefox 4’s Tab Candy feature looks absolutely delicious.
More on Sherrod
Rachel Maddow pretty much destroys Fox and their embrace of the Sherrod controversy, and subsequent (and ongoing) blatant hypocrisy.
When the Brietbart injected this bullshit into the mediasphere, Fox couldn’t contain their glee, and led the charge to get Sherrod dismissed. Their full court press was positively frothy. But we shouldn’t be surprised that, once the whole thing blew up, and people saw the whole, unedited tape, and it became clear that Sherrod’s speech was in no way racist, Fox changed their tune — this time, tut-tutting that the Obama Administration had jumped the gun in firing Sherrod, and expressing outrage at anyone would rush to judgement without getting the facts straight.
We’ve been through years of this with the doofuses at Fox, but it still astonishes me that they are so craven and so clearly uninterested in actual journalism.
Squirrel or Stoat?
Um:
Twelve bottles of The End Of History ale have been made and placed inside seven dead stoats, four squirrels and one hare.
And at 55 per cent volume, its makers claim it is the world’s strongest beer.
More here and at the manufacturer’s site, where we find this:
This 55% beer should be drank in small servings whilst exuding an endearing pseudo vigilance and reverence for Mr Stoat. This is to be enjoyed with a weather eye on the horizon for inflatable alcohol industry Nazis, judgemental washed up neo-prohibitionists or any grandiloquent, ostentatious foxes.
Is there a more loathesome figure in media than Breitbart?
No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. (There’s another rundown over at Scalzi’s place, in case you weren’t keeping up.)
You will die of cute.
Would you like to snuggle the porcupine?
Bigotry is Wrong, Even in Mississippi
Constance McMillen has showed some rural fucktards in my home state that bigotry is really expensive. McMillen, for her part, has moved down the road to Memphis.
I’m sort of shocked I didn’t see it myself
The Oatmeal points out that Aliens and Avatar are the same movie.
What better way to say “I have given up?”
How about a wine glass that holds a full bottle? Check out the first Amazon review:
I am the third trimester of my pregnancy and I have put myself on bed rest. Any little convenience that helps with repetitive movement is a blessing, as staying in a relaxed state is critical to the well being of both mommy and baby. So having a large glass that negates the need for repetitive pouring of a wine bottle is one of those tiny little aids that helps add up to a state of relaxation. The only thing that could have improved this would have been the inclusion of a very long straw.
Excellent.
The Sprawl Finds Its Own Uses For Things
The OTHER man your man could smell like
Ever wonder how much we subsidize energy production?
Dear Lt. Gov. Dewhurst: You’re an Idiot.
Last month, Texas Lt. Gov. Dewhurst insisted publicly that Phoenix, Arizona was second only to Mexico City in kidnappings.
Some journalists investigated, and found that (as expected) this was horseshit, and then said so, which irked Dewhurst.
“This is regrettably a new low for the Austin American-Statesman and for this particular group,” Dewhurst told NPR. “It shouldn’t be in the newspaper. It should be on the editorial page. I mean, for heaven’s sake.”
No, buddy, I don’t think so. Fact-checking politicians is exactly what belongs on the FRONT page, right where the American-Stateman put it. We live in a world where it’s astonishingly easy to do basic research; maybe you should try that before you go shooting your mouth off for political gain.
SWAN DIVE!
Into your own Old Spice voicemail.
Ladies and Gentleheathen…
…I give you Sharktopus. God save Roger Corman.
Old Spice Wins One Internet
They’ve got Isaiah “Old Spice Man” Mustafa in-character answering comments from their Twitter feed over on their Youtube channel. It’s a freakin’ scream — and occasionally amusingly meta.
Undercover Karaoke
Funny Or Die isn’t always funny, but that’s kind of clear in the name, right? Anyway, this is one of those times. Precis: What would happen if a famous singer put on a disguise and sand their own songs at karaoke? Jewel finds out. It sounds hokey, but it’s sort of delightful.
At least nine kinds of awesome
Check out these dinosaurs. Seriously.
When Food Critics Keep It Real
Alison Cook gets scattered, smothered and covered — and likes it!
Seems like a reasonable motto, really.
“That’ll be Colonel K”
MeFi noticed Danger Mouse not long ago; at happens, there are many episodes on YouTube.
We Are: Completely Doomed
Best one yet
In the same vein as Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, we find this excellent work.
Can someone explain to me how this is legal?
A ProPublica reporter was followed, harrassed, and detained by BP security and Police as he attempted to report on the spill. From the shoulder of a public road.
Further, journalists are now being actively threatened with arrest and fines for reporting “the wrong way” on the spill.
WTF?
BP is clearly trying to limit coverage of this thing, and they’ve been doing it since day one. That’s understandable. However, we have a First Amendment here, and the media has an obligation to the people to report on what’s actually happening. It’s been often said that “news” is only the stuff someone else doesn’t want reported; the rest is PR. The government ought to be helping the journalists, not BP — heads oughta roll over this bullshit.
Reuters wins again!
You can’t tell me this wasn’t intentional.
Just in case you were wondering
Prince remains a deeply strange individual, as one Daily Mirror writer discovered in a long-form, short-notice interview now widely quoted online (i.e., in reference to Prince’s antipathy for the Internet).
Innocent? 9th Circuit doesn’t care.
Radley has more, but it should be noted that the most prominent booster of the “we don’t care if you’re innocent as long as you had a trial” view is, of course, Scalia:
A three-judge panel for the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit has rejected an Oregon man’s petition for habeas corpus relief (PDF). This despite acknowledging that the man has established actual innocence for the crimes for which he’s being imprisoned (sexual abuse and sodomy of a four-year-old). The reason: He was late filing his petition. By the panel’s reckoning, adherence to an arbitrary deadline created by legislators is a higher value than not continuing to imprison people we know to be innocent.
Why don’t YOU walk to Guntersville?
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Dear Evite: Die in a Fire
I still don’t want to click on your bullshit emails to find out when the goddamn party is, you fuckers. Please stop this.
The Return of Mustafah
There’s another Old Spice commercial. It, too, is one continuous take essentially devoid of CGI trickery.
So very true
Who’s the big winner from yesterday’s gun rights decision?
Dept. of Things That Are In No Way Surprising
The iPhone 4 has two-way video chat, right? Consequently: iPhone 4 Video Sex Chat Services Already Staffing Up.
Matt Taibbi: Completely Right
He totally nails it in Lara Logan, You Suck. In case you missed the context, Logan has become the de facto voice of “establishment” journalism that is shocked — Shocked! — that Rolling Stone’s Michael Hastings included the damning and insubordinate comments that sank General McChrystal’s career in his recent story.
Some choice bits:
Anyone who wants to know why network television news hasn’t mattered since the seventies just needs to check out this appearance by Logan. Here’s CBS’s chief foreign correspondent saying out loud on TV that when the man running a war that’s killing thousands of young men and women every year steps on his own dick in front of a journalist, that journalist is supposed to eat the story so as not to embarrass the flag.
and
See, according to Logan, not only are reporters not supposed to disclose their agendas to sources at all times, but in the case of covering the military, one isn’t even supposed to have an agenda that might upset the brass! Why? Because there is an “element of trust” that you’re supposed to have when you hang around the likes of a McChrystal. You cover a war commander, he’s got to be able to trust that you’re not going to embarrass him. Otherwise, how can he possibly feel confident that the right message will get out?
True, the Pentagon does have perhaps the single largest public relations apparatus on earth — spending $4.7 billion on P.R. in 2009 alone and employing 27,000 people, a staff nearly as large as the 30,000-person State Department — but is that really enough to ensure positive coverage in a society with armed with a constitutionally-guaranteed free press?
And true, most of the major TV outlets are completely in the bag for the Pentagon, with two of them (NBC/GE and Logan’s own CBS, until recently owned by Westinghouse, one of the world’s largest nuclear weapons manufacturers) having operated for years as leaders in both the broadcast media and weapons-making businesses.
But is that enough to guarantee a level playing field? Can a general really feel safe that Americans will get the right message when the only tools he has at his disposal are a $5 billion P.R. budget and the near-total acquiescence of all the major media companies, some of whom happen to be the Pentagon’s biggest contractors?
Taibbi makes another point:
[T]he reason Lara Logan thinks this is because she’s like pretty much every other “reputable” journalist in this country, in that she suffers from a profound confusion about who she’s supposed to be working for. I know this from my years covering presidential campaigns, where the same dynamic applies. Hey, assholes: you do not work for the people you’re covering! Jesus, is this concept that fucking hard?
Go read the whole thing. Really. (HT: @wilw)
The more I hear about FIFA, the more I’m convinced of their bankruptcy
During the Argentina-Mexico match, the refs blew a call on one of Argentina’s goals; the man was offside, which should’ve invalidated the goal — but the officials missed it, and awarded the goal.
However, the cameras in the stadium DID see the action correctly, and the in-stadium replay made the ref’s error obvious to everyone there (in addition to everyone at home).
FIFA’s response? No more in-stadium replays.
Let’s be clear: instead of striving for actual truth and accuracy, their response to this is not that the ref should have better tools to determine correct calls at the highest level of the game; the response is to try to prevent the truth from being known immediately by those in the stadium.
Seriously, fuck them. How can an organization supposedly devoted to fair play care so little for truth?
Destination Burger, or, Cook and Walsh aren’t lying to you
Let’s just say that, on Saturday, Mrs Heathen and I had a little too much fun. It started at Phil’s BBQ for the WC match, and continued for reasons not entirely clear at Beaver’s, where Claire Sprouse made souses of us with her delicious cocktails.
So some recovery was in order on Sunday — although let the record show that Mrs Heathen still went and ran nearly 6 miles on Sunday morning, so three cheers for her. We lazed about, had a nap, watched Argentina dismantle Mexico, and eventually felt the need to venture into the world again as much for fun as for food. And that’s when I remembered something: We’d not yet been to Rockwell Tavern.
I am an unashamed inner-loop snob. I rarely leave Montrose. I consider it a hike if I have to go to the Galleria (seriously: I just mail-ordered a laptop battery rather than go to the Apple store), and most typically am leaving town if I get more than an exit or two beyond 610, so the whole idea of driving to Cypress for a fucking hamburger is something that, well, most of the time I’d just laugh off. But for some reason on a lazy Sunday afternoon it seemed reasonable, so we packed a bag and lit out for the territories. (For the record, Rockwell is 25 miles from our house; on a Sunday at five, you can do that in about half an hour, but God help you during the week.)
About 40 minutes later (!) we pulled into the lot. I’ve lived in Houston for 16 years, and this is the first time I’ve been this far out on 290. Cypress is miles past the beltway, for crying out loud. I thought about tweeting a pic, but I had no 3G service out there. The reviews are right; you’re in the ass end of the universe, and it looks like nothing so much as the rural world I visit when I want to shoot at doves.
The strip center itself is an exercise in halfassery — there’s an unfinished something next door to Rockwell, full of piles of building materials. This mode extends to Rockwell’s own facilities, which despite being fairly new (Robb Walsh says they opened in January 2009) is already pretty ramshackle. And features an empty aquarium. The bar itself is a baroque thing distinctly out of place in what amounts to a giant featureless room with insufficient A/C, but stay with me, dear reader, for all sins are forgiven by what comes next.
There was next to no one in the place at about 6 on a Sunday, so we were immediately seated. I was again sad for our hungover state, as the beer selection out there is pretty impressive for any address, let alone one halfway to Bastrop. We weren’t there for beer, though. Mrs Heathen ordered some fried pickles for an appy, and they proved tasty if under-drained; after that, though, came the main courses.
I followed St Walsh’s lead and had the King Bubba, a half-pound of fresh ground meat topped with bacon, cheese, and a fried egg. Mrs Heathen went with the Psychedelic Hendrix (“like Jimi, chock full of ‘shrooms!”). There’s not much I can say that Walsh or Alison Cook didn’t already say, but:
Holy Jesus, these are some good goddamn hamburgers. The slightly sweet egg bun, toasted to perfection, is a fantastic complement to its crispy and greasy cargo (and, shockingly, held up well for the duration of the meal). You need to go here, and eat these. Now. Especially the Bubba. I have not had a better burger, I’m sad to say, and I wish more than anything these cats would open a branch somewhere I don’t need provisions to visit. Both Walsh and Cook ding Rockwell for their onion rings, and they’re absolutely right; skip the rings and go with either their fantastic sweet potato fries or the handcut traditional fries. Both are outstanding. Oh, and don’t bother with an appetizer; we forgot all about the pickles as soon as the burgers and fries hit the table (Which was quick! Service was outstanding.), and had way more food than we needed. Now, if only we didn’t need to take vacation time and pack a change of clothes to eat there again…
Oh, GOP. Never change, okay?
The new Texas GOP platform apparently includes provisions cementing their opposition to all porn, all adult-oriented businesses, sodomy, blow jobs, gay marriage, the Federal Reserve, the IRS, the income tax, anything to do with early childhood development programs, and (basically) the Supreme Court as well. Oh, and it cites the Bible as a reason to continue mollycoddling Israel.
There are two ways to interpret this.
It’s possible that the GOP are genuinely interested in making all the planks of their platform come true, and that they really are this ignorant, mean-spirited, bigoted, and theocratic. If that’s the case, we should run them all out of town on rails, because pretty much nothing in the platform is at all compatible with “land of the free, home of the brave.”
On the other hand, a more likely scenario is that the powers that be in the GOP don’t give a shit about any of this beyond using it to scare uneducated electorate into voting their way, and as a means to direct debate away from the actual agenda of the GOP — i.e., protecting wealthy interests. I’d argue that this is even worse, because it means they’re absolutely courting mob rule tactics in order to pursue antidemocratic goals, in which case they still ought to be run out of the state on rails.
In either case, progressive-minded voters statewide should insist that GOP candidates address this platform completely, explicitly, on every point, and as often as possible. Seriously.